It's a good twenty minutes past the play's scheduled start time when Chris comes out in front of the curtain, looking harried.

(I know there's no curtain in the image. Pretend there's a curtain, please.)

"Thank you for your patience," Chris says, "and I apologise for the late start. There has been... a small disagreement on the matter of exactly what play we are scheduled to perform tonight. If there's a performance you'd particularly like to see, please let one of us know."

He drops his voice. "Because apparently we're incapable of making a simple decision," he adds under his breath, bitterly, and possibly more audibly than he intended.

Trevor and Annie start moving through the rows, consulting the audience on what play should be performed. What would you like to see?

• The Murder at Haversham Manor.
• The Lodge.
• Chris's insect ballet.
• A Christmas Carol.
• A contemporary romance between two men, with Robert and Chris cast as the lovers; I'm sure that will go well.
• A cross-cast play in which all the men play women and all the women play men.
• A work of adult theatre which, during a previous performance, was accidentally broadcast before the watershed. (This section of the website is only suitable for audience members over the age of fifteen. It might not be suitable for anyone, actually.)
• I don't want to see a play; I want to see the Cornley Drama Society on Taskmaster.
• I don't have a good feeling about this. Let's just go back.