Having met most of the Goes Wrong Show cast at the Comedy About Spies stage door, I found myself considering a question: what would the Cornley Drama Society be like at the stage door?

Robert absolutely loves the stage door. If no one comes to the stage door, as is frequently the case after Cornley performances, Robert will linger there for a while in the hope that someone might turn up. Whatever you say about his performance, he will manage to take it as a compliment. He shakes everyone's hand and will insist on you taking a photograph with him even if you don't request it. If Chris has already given you an autograph, Robert will attempt to cover up Chris's signature with his own.

Sandra also enjoys the stage door and will often give audience members a quick kiss on the cheek.

Annie is very friendly, very cheerful, happy to hug on request and will sometimes hug people spontaneously.

Vanessa is absolutely terrified by the stage door. She will give you an awkward smile and sign whatever you hold out for her to autograph; that's about as much as she can handle. If you attempt to engage her in conversation, she will freeze up immediately.

Max chats to everyone for ages; Trevor usually accompanies him and orders him to move along if he's holding things up for too long. If you request an autograph, Max will often sign multiple times.

Dennis is confused by the stage door. If an unknown person attempts to engage Dennis in conversation, he assumes they're an acquaintance he's forgotten. He will spend the entirety of your interaction trying to work out how he knows you. If you hand him a cheque or a contract to 'autograph', he'll do it; do not take advantage of this.

Chris is very defensive at the stage door and will get snippy at any hint of criticism, or at any mention that, God forbid, something might have gone wrong during the performance. No hugs or handshakes; he absolutely does not want to make physical contact. He will reluctantly agree to photographs but invariably looks deeply awkward in them, sporting the falsest smile you've ever seen.

Jonathan cannot get out of the stage door.

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