After seeing Christmas Carol Goes Wrong on stage, I bought the official script; I thought it would be a nice way to remind myself of my evening at the theatre. And it is! But it's also interesting to see how many things had been changed or added by the time I saw it in performance.

Here are some of the differences I've noticed between the script version and the actual performance I saw on 14 January 2026! Some of these are outright changes from the script; some of them are just performance details (e.g. interesting moments of body language) that aren't included in the stage directions. There might be a bit of overlap with my general notes on the performance.

Robert has not read A Christmas Carol and has very little idea of how the story goes, so, for his audition, he just made things up. In the original script, he and Annie collaborate to invent a narrative in which Santa has to rescue someone named Mary from trolls. In the performance, Robert instead got A Christmas Carol confused with various other Christmas stories:

Robert: I'm Ebenezer Scrooge! I spend Christmas alone. Because my family have gone on holiday, and there are burglars outside!
Chris: That's Home Alone!

In the script, Max struggles with auditioning as Young Scrooge because he can't stop smiling during a sad scene. In the production, he instead struggles with sitting down at the right moment; he keeps taking his seat before the character he's speaking to invites him to sit. I wonder if this change was made because, if you're further back in the audience, 'Max sits down' is a lot easier to see than 'Max is smiling'. When Max sat down at the correct moment during the actual Christmas Carol performance, the audience cheered and applauded.

In the script, Chris dismisses the idea of an afterparty without further explanation during the pre-show meeting: 'Absolutely not!' In the performance, he specifically says there's no budget for an afterparty; they have to worry about props, costumes—

Robert: Easy; we'll just perform nude.

(In general, one detail that comes across more in the performance than in the script itself is the fact that Robert really wants a post-show party. He presents various arguments for how they could free up budget for the party during this meeting, and, when Chris eventually proposes a party, Robert is clearly thrilled. This is important to me because it suggests that Robert genuinely enjoys the company of the drama society! He's not merely tolerating them as a means to get onto the stage; he likes these people and he wants to spend time with them.)

Later, towards the end of the first half, Dennis starts reading his lines from the wrong piece of paper. In the script, this is:

Dennis: Noah's Ark show report. Badgers contained: three. Badgers loose: six. (later) Badgers contained: one. Badgers loose: eight. Patrons dead: three.

(The Noah's Ark play is mentioned multiple times in the script but didn't make it into the performance. Apparently the cast were proud of Noah's Ark - 'only having badgers turned out to be a real blessing in disguise' - despite the aforementioned dead patrons.)

In the performance, Dennis instead gets hold of:

Dennis: Nude Hamlet. Act I, scene I. Hamlet enters, nude. (later) 'To see or not to see my penis.'

This all works as a nice setup for the later lines showcasing Robert's obsession with nude performance, which are in the script:

Robert: We'll do Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. But nude!

Chris: Robert, you will play the lead in our next show.
Robert: Yes!
Chris: Whatever production you like!
Robert: The nude—
Chris: Not nude.
Robert: Well, what's the point, then?

When a light falls and crushes the model box, Robert comments that Chris 'might notice that'. In performance, he was facing away from the audience when the box got crushed, and he looked back at the audience to deliver this line in an aside.

This fascinates me because this was a backstage sequence - the audience was not canonically present - but Robert still delivered this line as if addressing the audience. Does Robert act as if there's an invisible audience watching him at all times? What am I talking about; of course he does.

In the performance, when Chris was being aggressive into Annie's face ('I don't care about you or your precious little feelings. I care about getting a good review and about my production being a success. So you will all shut up and do as you're told'), Annie backed away from him into Robert's chest, and Robert put his hands protectively on her shoulders and kept them there until Chris had finished. It was an extremely cute little detail!

At one point, Dennis has to throw a giant Malteser into Tiny Tim's gaping mouth. When he took aim to throw, the audience made an anticipatory 'ooooooohhhh' noise (clearly signifying 'oooooh, is he going to succeed in this throw??'), and Dennis turned to give the audience a desperate little 'why would you do this to me?' look.

The script envisions a very ambitious ending for the first half, with Robert attempting to drop a chandelier on Chris and a bunch of people falling dramatically as a result of an unfortunate domino effect! Unfortunately, this did not happen when I saw it; I wonder if they concluded it'd just be too difficult to stage.

It's tricky to describe this part in words, but I'll attempt it because it was my favourite bit of physical comedy in the show! While trapped in the present box, Robert attempted to lead Scrooge to the window, a difficult challenge given that Robert was unable to see. He ended up falling onto his side and kicking himself around in circles on the stage, going 'Follow me to the window! Follow me to the window! Follow me to the window!' (pause) '...are we there?' (The script includes some of this, but not the ridiculous way Robert ended up revolving on the stage!)

In the script, when Chris-as-Scrooge wakes up on Christmas morning, he asks Dennis what day it is. In the performance, Dennis wasn't on stage at first, leading to this sequence (which presumably goes slightly differently every night!):

Chris: (looks out from the stage) You, boy! What day is it?
(A beat of silence, and then a clamour of responses from the audience: Wednesday, Christmas Day, 14 January. Chris stands staring at the audience until the calls die down.)
Chris: What the hell are you doing? What made you think it's all right for all of you to just... chip in? I mean, have you ever been to the theatre before?
Audience member: He's behind you!
Chris: He's behind me? (looks back at Scrooge's bed) A bed's behind me. Look, I'm just trying to give a good performance; all of you decided to chip in—
Audience member: Oh, no, we didn't!
Chris: And I heard the things you said. 'Wednesday'. (scoffs) Let's try it again. It's in the title of the show; it can't be that hard. What day is it?
(Assorted responses from the audience. One person in the front calls 'Carol Day!' twice.)
Chris: Yes, I heard you the first time. 'Carol Day'. Hilarious. I'm going to give you one more chance. What day is it? Three, two, one...
Audience: Christmas Day!
Chris: Christmas Day!
Dennis: (running on stage dressed as the boy) It's Christmas Day, sir!
Chris: Yes, well, it's too late now.

In the script, I was surprised to find that the Christmas Carol performance ends with Max getting eaten by the colossal puppet Tiny Tim. In the actual performance I saw, Chris-as-Scrooge is the one who gets eaten, which is a much better choice; in the climactic moment, obviously you eat the protagonist!

In the script, post-play, Sandra asks if there's been any sign of Chris. Robert's response is 'No. Left straight away. Took the Styrofoam goose with him and ran off towards the canal, screaming "I'm an artist."' In the actual performance, as Chris was the one who'd been eaten, Robert responded with, 'No. When I last saw him, he was crawling out of Tiny Tim's massive arsehole. Then he ran off towards the canal, screaming, "I'm better than this."'

After the Christmas Carol performance, Trevor came on stage to give a speech that wasn't included in the script. 'We've decided that, rather than the cast coming out to take a bow, I'm going to read this legal statement. If anyone asks, you saw an impressive and accurate performance of A Christmas Carol tonight. You had a good time. Scrooge was not devoured by a giant Tiny Tim.'

In the performance, but not in the script, Annie and Max have just completed a 'short' acting course under Robert; it took them six years. Robert hasn't given Max his certificate because he deems Max not to be ready; he think Max isn't versatile enough. After A Christmas Carol, in which Max plays a ludicrous number of characters simultaneously, Robert gives Max his certificate in recognition of a versatile performance; he's written the certificate on the back of a menu.

In the final scene, Annie says they shouldn't read the review. Chris says, 'Annie's right,' and gives a little speech about how the important thing is that they put on a show. In the performance, Chris delivered this entire speech with his arm around Annie's shoulders. Which is cute!

From what I've heard, the drama society's celebration of their non-negative review varies from show to show! I just caught the tail end of it - it was a chaotic moment and at first I didn't know where to look - but I'm fairly certain that, at my showing, Chris threw himself into Robert's arms and got spun around in a hug, which is very cute. Extremely kind of the cast to include a Chris/Robert moment for me specifically.

I've also heard accounts that on some nights, during the celebration, Chris and Trevor clasp each other's faces and look into each other's eyes, or even kiss. I apologise to any Chris/Trevor shippers in the audience on 14 January for turning that scene into a Chris/Robert scene through the power of my presence.

And a handful of minor details:

- The script, tragically, does not note the fact that Annie hugs all of her castmates when they turn up for auditions! Annie and Robert hugging enthusiastically is very important to me.

- In the script, Sandra says she can do 'all twelve emotions' in performance. In the actual performance, she says she can do all three: happy, sad and hungry.

- The detail that the drama society's motto is 'The show must go on, regardless of the human cost' is not in the script!

- A line from Annie in the script that didn't make it into the performance: 'I'm trying to get celebrity guests. I've sent an invite to Charles Dickens, but I haven't heard back yet. All these stuck-up authors never get back to us. We had the same thing with Oscar Wilde last year.'

- In the performance, when Robert's CV is used as a makeshift curtain in the stage model, Robert is clearly proud: 'Now, that's a curtain!'

- It's not in the script, but there was a point in the performance when Sandra mentioned that someone had stolen the vicar's desk from the local church, a line swiftly followed by Robert pushing a desk across the stage; I think it ended up being used as Scrooge's desk in his office.

- When the lights went up on the Christmas Carol outdoor set, Trevor got caught on the stage moving things around. After a moment's clear panic at being visible to the audience, he apparently decided to pretend to be an extra and left the stage in a hilariously awkward attempt at a casual strut.

- In the script, Robert is already in Scrooge's office when the audience first sees the office set. In the actual production, he walked into the office after it was revealed to the audience, so we got to see him freeze up as the realisation hit him that the storeroom door had, in fact, been replaced by a gigantic box of Maltesers.

- Because they don't have time to discuss choreography in the production meeting, there's no choreography for the dance at Fezziwig's Christmas party. In the script, the dancers do 'random knee bends'. In the actual performance, when the lack of choreography became clear, Robert said, 'They can just do the Macarena or something,' and the dancers did indeed end up doing a slow Macarena to an instrumental Christmas carol.

- The script includes the sequence where the Kelly's Dreamhouse goes into 'party time' mode and starts playing upbeat music, but it doesn't include my favourite aspect of this moment from the performance: while everyone else is frantically trying to stop the music, Max is cheerfully dancing along.

- In the script, but not in the actual performance, after Chris has a breakdown and runs off, Robert is the one who goes 'maybe I should call him?' despite other characters feeling they're better off without him. Was Robert also the one who proposed kicking Chris out of the drama society, leading to Chris's breakdown in the first place? Yes. They've got a complicated relationship.

Finally, a delightful little exchange from the script that I don't remember being in the show itself:

Sandra: Listen, we all know the Cornley Gazette's official policy has been not to review our shows since our immersive production of Dracula.
Robert: The small print on the ticket clearly said I would enter his house and bite him.

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