This page is for brief notes on Robert that don't really fit anywhere else! More recent additions are at the top.

sprained ankle

Having sprained my ankle, I found myself thinking about how Robert would deal with the same plight. He would, let's be honest, be an enormous drama queen about it. I discussed the matter with my housemate Rei:

Rei: The drama society go out for a hike together, and Robert sprains his ankle immediately. He goes 'Go on without me!' and then protests when they actually start to leave. They think he should just go back, but he's determined to finish the walk.
Riona: He insists on being carried. They're all struggling to lift him together, and then Annie shoves everyone aside and picks him up in a bridal carry. Everyone is shocked by her strength. Robert falls in love immediately.
Rei: He forces everyone to construct a palanquin.

Land Robert

I'm an editor by profession, but I am thinking full-time about Robert Grove as a hobby, and these two occupations occasionally clash. I recently had to write 'Land Rover' in the book I'm editing. I wrote 'Land Robert' on my first two attempts and, on the third, managed to write 'Land Rovert'.

I deleted the 't', surveyed my triumph, then thought, I'd better double-check that the vehicle is actually a Land Rover. Opened the search bar and typed 'land robert'.

superpower

I received an anonymous question: If Robert could magically acquire one superpower, what would he choose? (Alternatively, if you could pick one for him, what would it be?)

Robert: I was offered one superpower of my choice.
Annie: Seriously? Lucky you! What did you choose?
Robert: I went for flight, in the end.
Annie: Oh, wow, flying would be amazing. Have you been flying around a lot, then?
Robert: What? No, of course not. I haven’t had a reason to use it yet.
Annie: Uh, what counts as a reason to use it?
Robert: (rubbing his hands together) Let’s see Chris cast Jonathan as Peter Pan now.

If I could pick one for him, maybe uncontrollable invisibility, because it would be funny. Suddenly turning invisible at random intervals is the last thing Robert wants; he’d promptly seek out ways to make himself impossible to ignore even when he’s invisible. The downside, of course, is that I’d have fewer opportunities to gaze upon his excellent face.

bodyswap

I received an anonymous question: Who would be the worst member of Cornley for Robert to be bodyswapped with?

I feel Sandra is simultaneously the worst and the best option!

Robert rather enjoys being in Sandra’s body. Does a lot of strutting and posing, comments that he can see why Sandra’s such a fan of it.

Sandra hates being Robert, right up until she realises that, if she’s in someone else’s body, she can have sex with herself. Robert takes up the suggestion with great enthusiasm. They make very little effort to hide what they’re up to from the rest of the society, who are deeply unhappy about this.

animal

I was asked to assign Robert an animal, and I did not hesitate for an instant in answering. Robert Grove is one hundred percent a rhinoceros. He’s large and aggressive and powerful and, much like a rhinoceros, will unintentionally cause a lot of destruction when you put him on a stage.

'You're weak, Chris.'

I received an anonymous question: Do you think Chris would have felt self-conscious about being called 'weak' by Robert? Would Robert like that Chris is 'weak' or want him to be a more even match? (I am imagining a (disastrous) Cornley training montage.)

I think Chris probably hated being called weak by Robert; it bothered him more than he'd like to admit. From anyone else, he'd have been able to shrug it off; his strength isn't usually something he's particularly insecure about! From Robert, though, the accusation of weakness gets under his skin.

For his part, Robert disapproves of Chris's weakness and feels a responsibility to fix it. This might actually be part of why he's constantly pushing against Chris's decisions; in his head, he's helping Chris learn to stand up for himself. They can't have a weak director, either in mind or in body; it puts the whole drama society at risk. What if someone stronger comes along and forces Chris to make the wrong casting decision?

Robert should ideally be the director, of course. But, if he can't be, he can at least make Chris stronger. (Cue the disastrous training montage.)

musicals

A question I received from enter_doctor_frog on Tumblr: what's robert's ideas about musicals? does he like them, would he ever put one on, does he look down upon them, etc

By beautiful coincidence, I was thinking about Robert’s attitude to musicals just before I received this question.

I think Robert likes musicals! My instinct is that he has a slight preference for classic rather than contemporary theatre, but he enjoys both, and he’s not particularly snobbish about genre; he sees value in theatre in all its forms. He’s happy to embrace Peter Pan being a pantomime, for example, whereas Chris insists on presenting it as a Serious Adult Play.

(I think Chris does look down upon musicals; he’s occasionally willing to include a musical number, but I suspect he does it with a pained look. I personally believe that Chris wrote The Spirit of Christmas himself, which might seem strange when I also think he doesn't like musicals, but this is why it's a bad musical! Most of the songs delay the plot rather than moving it forward, because Chris has no respect for the art of the musical; he just thinks 'give each character a song, done.')

Therefore, Robert would absolutely put a musical on. In fact, he’d probably try to write the songs himself, and his castmates would desperately have to prevent him; the results would not be good.

Persona 5

A slightly niche anonymous question I received: if robert got a persona 5 calling card, how do you think he and the rest of the society would react?

I think Robert would be outraged by the aspersions the card cast on his character, but I don’t think he’d be worried about it; he wouldn’t really expect the Phantom Thieves to succeed in stealing his heart.

Chris, on the other hand, would worry a lot; he’d lie awake, wondering whether Robert’s personality is suddenly going to change. In many ways, it would probably be more convenient! And yet the thought bothers him in ways he can’t pin down.

Hallowe'en

A question from mygoeswrongblog on Tumblr: Robert is invited to a halloween costume party: What is he wearing and how does he want everyone to react?

Robert dresses as a famous stage actor or playwright for Hallowe'en, and he responds with absolute scorn if anyone asks what his costume is; he’s obviously Richard Burton. Everyone goes ‘how were we supposed to know that?? you’re just wearing normal clothes!’ with the exception of Dennis, who sees Robert and immediately goes 'oh, nice Richard Burton costume.’

favourite play

A question from mygoeswrongblog on Tumblr: Do you have any idea what Robert's favourite play is?

Robert's favourite play is Summer Once Again, a self-penned masterpiece tragically cut short in its first performance. (I firmly believe that Robert wrote Summer Once Again himself.)

For plays by other people: I think he likes both classic and modern theatre, but I think his favourite is likely something Shakespearean. Maybe something on the dense and difficult side, like King Lear, or a comedy that he takes bizarrely seriously. He puts on Much Ado About Nothing but insists on playing it like he's playing Hamlet.

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